Axl — The Anti-Doomscroller

It is well-known that I have a tendency to wax philosophic on anything — and to panic philosophic about everything. Yesterday, on my most hated of holidays (I can’t stand the internet on April Fool’s), I decided to log off the internet and do something whimsical. Of course, whimsy doesn’t really fit in my 105% of poverty level budget, but I made do.

There’s a thing that happens with me, where people say something like “you should have a youtube” or something and … I just don’t have the face for it (I’ve got the face a mother didn’t love). But, I have, for some time, been threatening to ‘puppet.’ Because there’s just something about a good puppet. Anyway, I will agree It’s really cool to see fabrication and making in motion. I will also agree that I have a knack for it, and love creating things with my hands. Bonus — it’s easier on the eye (I’m less prone to headaches if I’m not sitting in front of a computer day to day).

It was with these threats of puppets in the air, and a need for creative expression that drove me to declare I needed to not be on the internet for a day. This house, I decided, needed more puppet.

I’m not sure why I have this feeling towards puppets. Maybe it’s the Maryland girl in me (Jim Henson got famous there, after all). I grew up at just the right time for Muppets to be in their stride (Great Muppet Caper in the theater? YOU BET!). Or maybe it’s just being able to sew something for someone significantly smaller than myself.

Anyway, I had no idea the real steps to making a puppet or what I’d WANT out of a puppet — all those sorts of questions, so I decided yesterday that instead of scrolling the internet I was just going to do it and make the thing.

Like any person leaving the internet to do an activity I first had to look something up on the internet. Mainly, I knew someone had to have done all the pattern math for me already and made a puppet — so I went seeking instructions from THAT smart and sharing person. The smart person named “The Puppet Nerd.” Adam Kreutinger, the Puppet Nerd, passed away last year, a day short of his 37th birthday. The gift that he gave the world — something to help people keep their hadn and hope busy, lives on. Thank you, Adam.

I started with his free pattern, traced it off my screen (no printer), and declared, confidently “I don’t need sewing instructions, I’ve got this.”

I sort of did. Sort of didn’t.

Regardless, a few hours later, Axl made his first appearance.

His nose is one of those leather buttons you probably remember from long ago. I had contemplated using something complicated and made out of leather (to collaborate with Darren and his exceptional leather work), but decided the button actually fit the vibe much better.

There are few feelings more freeing to me than just making something with my hands. In this case, thinking through all the steps and just working through the challenges of using nothing but scraps and things I had here in the house was enjoyable. I’m at my craftiest when I’m ‘making do’, and there are few moments where I felt more like I was ‘making do’ than making this puppet yesterday. I was making, doing — anything to get away from just blank consumption and scrolling.

I’ve been taking some huge steps back for my mental health — I’m trying to prioritize things that work for me and aren’t just time sinks for something that doesn’t build up — for me. We’re in a financial pinch and there’s a part of me that still believes time in front of computer = money because that’s how the corporate world had it all drilled in, you know? It can be easy to be swept up in that and miss the moments where I can relieve that stress.

After all, who wouldn’t want to make mullet wig for a dinosaur?

The pile of collected bits and bobs behind ‘Darwin’ there reminds me that I have a lot of stuff that I still need to use, and when I use them in the right way, I can make something cool out of them.

It’s very easy, when things start to get harrowing, to let despair in. Every algorithm seems tuned to despair and rage — easily accessble, but not so escapable. And as long as I’m surrounded by a chaos from which I can create, I hope that I’m always trying to introduce some whimsy.

It’s been a very tough few months for me. More vision loss, the loss of Cujo, another significant loss of income. It can feel like things are narrowing and restrictive, and it’s emboldening and revolutionary to create regardless of those restrictions. Why?

For the age old reason.

Because I can.